Pitza♥Summer

Monday, July 17, 2006

Sweltering heat *

I have been really depressed these few weeks. It really makes me worry whether I would fall into depression or something. I know I might be a hypochondriac but it's really not my imagination. I guess I know I'm safe from mental illness when I suspect I have one.Usually people with problems are always in denial right?
My life has been rather unpurposeful. I wasn't spending my time as wisely as I used to. Time at home used to be spent doing craft works like jewellery making, painting, drawing and their likes.I didn't seem to want to do any of those things I enjoy doing. Today, I finally did something with my hands----I made a rack for my earrings! Does that mean that I'm washing away the sad grey mud that has engulfed me(like the mud that engulfed [Haru] はあるin "Howl's moving castle" )?I hope so. I have been busy snapping at people and I didn't laugh as much.I must be like this huge awful blob. Yuck!
I went running today as well even though it's a sweltering day. I ignored the perspiration that was trickling down profusely. I ignored the irritating car exhausts from those cars that zoomed by. Nothing mattered. I was running because I knew that I can complete the entire running route if I wanted to.I was in control and nothing can stop me.(Maybe that's why I always do well in cross country and NAFA runs) It was with that belief that I completed the run and did a few monkey bars. I went home with blisters on my palms but I felt really happy. Endorphine level must be rising.
I read a really inspiring story today about the CEO of Orangestar, a corporation in charged of the 2 budget airlines in singapore. She went to the university of Birmingham with just $6000 and got herself book and air travel sponsorship! How amazing is that! She even managed to send her younger brother there as well!This re-enforced my determination to go overseas to do vet science. People have done it and I should be able to do it too.
The guest-of-honour at yesterday's award ceremony ended by saying we must do what we like .He didn't exactly say it this way but that's the idea I got from his speech.Can't really remember the exact quote.I totally agree with him. I'll regret when I breathe my last breath if I don't do so. He also thanked several of his teachers from Hwa chong and was extremely grateful to what Hwa chong has given him . HC has certainly made me a more active individual. The physical activities that I perform daily might be more than what I did in a week while I was in high school. Ha! It's scary to think about it.

Love, Pitza 17.7.06

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