Pitza♥Summer

Monday, October 02, 2006

grey n drab

Notice anything about the sky recently? IT's grey and drab, hazy and depressing, dull and uninteresting. I must say the weather kinda affects me. I've been contemplating more than ever and had this terrible dream yesterday. Not sure if it can be considered a nightmare though. I neither encountered any supernatural beings, nor get squashed by a huge block of brick wall. But the dream is scary. Really scary. Dreams are said to be the manifestations of things that you think about subconsciously. It worries me to know that my thoughts could be so dark and evil, like a devil in disguise.

My job is giving me more leeway for my mind to wander and I hate that. Today is my fifth consecutive day of work and I'm becoming a walking zombie. I 'm enjoying morbid songs more than ever and "Your Ex-Lover is Dead", " I Used to Love Her", "I'm shakin' " and " Goodbye Earl" are fast becoming the only tracks that I listen to on my ipod. Sadly, Beachboys is no longer my favourite.

I am always looking forward to my contemporary dance lesson, which is held every friday evening. That's the only time where I throw away all inhibitions and leap, prance and whirl about with full concentration. I love sports but not its competitiveness.

I wish to be independent but still yearns to be like a kid. I guess that's the thing of being the eldest child at home: You always hope to get the attention that the youngest child gets. I cried on my 12th birthday, can't remember how I felt on my 18th, and now pray that I could be forever 18.( though impossible)

Can't wait for MAF on saturday! Really missing school life... I grin to myself whenever I remember certain amusing snippets. Now that's scary.

Love, Pitza 2.10.06

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